Why do people get divorced: the main reasons for divorces in Russia

We have summarized current data from the Federal State Statistics Service, the Judicial Department of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation, and the All-Russian Center for the Study of Public Opinion (VTsIOM) on various aspects of marriage and divorce in Russia, you can see interesting patterns and suggest what transformations will occur with the institution of the family in the near future .

Content
  1. Official statistics of divorces in Russia
  2. Judicial statistics
  3. Interesting facts about marriage in Russia
  4. Do you agree with these theses?
  5. Why are there many divorces in Russia and what are the statistics around the world?
  6. Divorce statistics in the modern world
  7. Latest statistics on divorce in Russia
  8. Why are there so many divorces in Russia now: the main reasons
  9. How many years does it take on average for spouses to decide to divorce?
  10. Video on the topic
  11. Why do people get divorced: statistics and overview of the causes of divorce in Russia
  12. The main reasons for divorces in Russia
  13. Divorce statistics in Russia in recent years
  14. Who's at risk
  15. Possible consequences
  16. Life after divorce: advice from a psychologist
  17. Why people get divorced: main and hidden reasons for divorce
  18. The main reasons for divorce according to statistics
  19. Addiction of one of the spouses to alcohol and drugs
  20. Domestic violence
  21. Adultery
  22. Financial difficulties
  23. Living with relatives under one roof
  24. Long business trips for husband or wife
  25. Inability to have children
  26. Irreconcilable contradictions in views on life
  27. Psychological aspects of divorce
  28. On opposite sides of the barricades: divorce from the point of view of a man and a woman
  29. At-risk groups
  30. Social reasons and factors provoking divorces
  31. Conclusion
  32. Reasons for divorce in Russia: why there are more of them, what statistics show
  33. Statistical patterns of divorce in Russia
  34. What reasons lead to the breakdown of marriages in our country?
  35. Official data
  36. Special circumstances
  37. Statistics on the behavior of men and women after divorce
  38. What is the situation with divorces in other countries?

Official statistics of divorces in Russia

At the beginning of the study, it is advisable to consider the dynamics of divorce statistics and, based on the data obtained, predict what awaits Russians in the near future.

Graph according to the Federal State Statistics Service - What percentage of tanks disintegrate?

Source: Federal State Statistics Service

Thus, at the end of 2018, 65% of marriages in Russia broke up, while 70 years ago divorces were rare. At the same time, the trend is very negative; in current conditions, the number of divorces will only increase every year.

From 1950 to 2002, there was a rapid upward trend in divorce rates in Russia; the “boiling point” was recorded in 2002—84 out of 100 marriages broke up.

This was followed by a decline in “turnover,” but the upward trend in divorce rates in Russia still persists, which indicates the existence of a serious demographic threat.

Graph according to the Federal State Statistics Service - Ratio of marriages and divorces in Russia.

Source: Federal State Statistics Service

By building a forecast for the coming decades using standard mathematical models, we can see that if current conditions continue, in 2036 every marriage will end in divorce.

Perhaps the institution of marriage and family in Russia will undergo changes.

An important role in this issue should be played by effective government regulation and the overall impact on the standard of living of the population in Russia.

According to a sociological survey by VTsIOM on the causes of divorce in Russia, material factors come first: poverty, lack of work, inability to feed the family.

The nationwide problem of the presence in the country of a large number of people with incomes below the subsistence level has a disincentive effect on the institution of marriage and family. The trend of influence of this factor is increasing.

According to the population of different age groups from 46 regions of Russia, over the last 6 years, almost twice as many marriages began to break up due to poverty.

But it is very interesting, having studied the correlation of such factors as the purchasing power of monetary income of the population and divorce statistics, a direct relationship was revealed.

That is, official statistics indicate the opposite: the more financially stable the population, the more divorces are initiated.

Thus, we can say that the reasons for divorce are very contradictory and lie not only in material and financial factors.

The number of divorces due to adultery and jealousy has increased significantly and decreased due to the inability to make compromises, lack of mutual understanding, selfishness, and unwillingness to overcome difficulties.

Graph according to VTsIOM data - Causes of divorce in Russia.

  • Source: https://wciom.ru/
  • Moreover, back in 2013 the results were as follows:
  • 1. Cheating (24%)
  • 2. Poverty (21%)
  • 3. Misunderstanding, selfishness, quarrels (19%)
  • 4. Alcoholism, drug addiction (16%)
  • 5. Mismatch of characters, different views on life (8%)
  • 6. Household problems (7%)

7. Feelings cool down (5%).

Graph according to VTsIOM data - What prevents married couples from getting a divorce?

Source: https://wciom.ru/

There are also a number of factors that deter citizens from getting divorced.

  • Almost a third of the population believes that the marriage should be saved due to the “impossibility of “separating” the children after a divorce.”
  • A quarter of the population pays attention to the existence of financial dependence of one of the spouses.
  • Every fifth person believes that in the event of a divorce, significant difficulties may arise with the division of property.

Judicial statistics

Graph based on data from the “Judicial Department of the Supreme Court” - Where do Russians divorce?

In 2018, more than 70% of all marriages were dissolved in court, of which more than 80% of married couples have common minor children. In 86 out of 100 divorces (in the presence of children), alimony was collected.

At the same time, less than 4% of all divorced persons formalized the division of property in court. The value of property in every third case exceeded 2 million rubles, in every fifth - 1 million rubles, in every seventh it was in the range from 500 thousand to 1 million rubles. Only a relatively small number of divorced couples shared property worth less than 300 thousand rubles.

Compared to 2010, the number of divorces in civil registry offices increased by 12%, which indicates an increase in the number of childless couples in Russia who jointly came to the decision to dissolve their marriage.

Over 8 years, the number of those who collected alimony in court after a divorce increased by more than 10%.

Interesting facts about marriage in Russia

  • 90% of the population believes that no matter what relationship the spouses develop after a divorce, the mother should not limit the children’s communication with the father.
  • 46% of Russians consider it acceptable for men and women to live together without registering a marriage.
  • 56% of the population does not recognize cohabitation as marriage.
  • 50% of adult Russians oppose the initiative to recognize unregistered relationships as marriage.
  • 70% of the population believes in the ability of fathers to care for children and run a household as well as women. Almost three-quarters of women adhere to this point of view, while men, on the contrary, consider this to be abnormal.
  • At the same time, 42% of men would agree to go on maternity leave instead of their wife.
  • In 62% of married couples there is no sole leader, in 29% the head of the family is the man, and in only 7% of families the leader is the wife.
  • 60% of the population believes that a family is created primarily for procreation, 43% of the population - in order to be close to a person who is ready to provide support in any situation.
  • Every fourth person considers creating a family a moral duty of every person.
  • 12% of the population is of the opinion that nowadays it is preferable not to commit to marriage.
  • The most common reason why men don’t get married is “an unwillingness to take responsibility and commit themselves.”
  • 8% of citizens allow the legalization of polygamy in Russia, 2% consider it a necessity.

Do you agree with these theses?

Let's think together about how the situation with divorces in Russia will be in the future?

For example, in 2018, the State Duma received a bill recognizing an unofficial marriage union on an equal basis with an officially registered marriage, in terms of regulating the property relations of people leading a joint household.

The essence of the bill is that property acquired by such couples during the period of cohabitation will be recognized as their joint property. Currently, the division of property between cohabitants is also possible, but not within the framework of family law.

If the document were adopted, then it would be advisable to apply the same requirements to cohabitants as to official spouses: reaching marriageable age, the absence of other registered marriages, the absence of close kinship, and the presence of full legal capacity.

The following could apply to “common-law” spouses:

  • the right of access to the intensive care unit to your spouse;
  • the right to refuse to give any testimony in court against a spouse;
  • the right to receive a visit from a husband or wife in a pre-trial detention center;
  • the right to an obligatory share in the inheritance in the presence of disability after the death of a spouse;
  • the obligation to obtain consent from the spouse when making real estate transactions, etc.

I wonder what changes would occur in the statistics of officially registered marriages and divorces if the above-mentioned bill was adopted?

Source: https://www.planeta-zakona.ru/blog/razvod-v-tsifrakh-statistika-razvodov-v-rossii.html/

Why are there many divorces in Russia and what are the statistics around the world?

Family means for life! Unfortunately, statistics today prove the opposite.

According to a study conducted by VTsIOM (center for the study of public opinion), more than half of family unions break up.

Experts are trying to understand why there are so many divorces in Russia.

Divorce statistics in the modern world

In the modern world, marriage is becoming an increasingly unstable institution. The highest divorce rates occur in European countries.

Most unions will break up in Belgium - about 70%.

Disappointing statistics in countries such as:

  • Spain;
  • Portugal;
  • Czech Republic;
  • Hungary;
  • Luxembourg.

Here the divorce rate is around 60%. Next come Russia and the United States, where 50% of those who have entered into a union fail to maintain a family.

Families are strongest in countries where Islam is practiced. For example, in Egypt and Libya the divorce rate does not exceed 20%. Chile has the lowest rate. According to official data, no more than 3% of registered couples break up here.

Latest statistics on divorce in Russia

Data from recent years suggests the following: the increase in the number of divorces began in the 21st century. Thus, the boom in divorce occurred in 2001-2004 - about 84% of previously concluded unions.

Then there was a slight decline - in 2005, divorces became less common. The figure rose to 57%.

Over the past three years, there has been a renewed trend in the number of divorces. If in 2014 56% of previously created families broke up, then by 2016 this figure increased to 62%. In 2018, the situation improved slightly again: the divorce rate was 57%. Such data was provided by the Federal State Statistics Service of Russia.

Analysts also name leaders among regions in the number of divorces compared to the number of registered marriages.

In 2017, the first place was taken by:

  1. Leningrad region. Here, 1,119 divorces were registered per 1,000 unions.
  2. On the second line is the Altai Territory with an indicator of 1063.
  3. In third place is the Komi Republic, where 1,033 divorces were registered per 1,000 new families.

The lowest divorce rates recorded:

  1. Chechen Republic. In 2017, only 158 unions per 1,000 marriages broke up.
  2. Ingushetia. Only 186 families out of 1000 get divorced.
  3. Tuva. 282 divorces were registered per 1000 marriages.

Why are there so many divorces in Russia now: the main reasons

The main reason that couples give for divorce is that they were in a hurry and got married under pressure from relatives.

In 40% of cases, it is this factor that becomes the basis for dissolution of the union.

Experts also say that living together with relatives or parents of one of the spouses also becomes a problem. About 15% of couples separated citing this very reason.

Sexual dissatisfaction in marriage also leads to divorce. This reason was given by 15% of divorced couples.

The economic crisis of recent years has had a negative impact on statistics. A fairly large percentage of divorces is associated with the lack of one’s own apartment or house, as well as with the financial inability to support a family.

There are no common views on life - another point why spouses cannot continue to exist together.

The stumbling block in family life is alcohol. Today, about 7% of marriages break up due to the addiction of one of the family members to alcoholic beverages. Moreover, this reason is mainly cited by women.

By the way, there is a reason that is cited exclusively by women - the spouse does not want to change and contribute to the preservation of the relationship.

As a result, tension arises in family life, and the result is divorce.

The fact is that in the post-Soviet space, women have, so to speak, a double burden: the need to earn money and manage the household independently.

As psychologists say, most of the male half of the Russian population is of the opinion that helping around the house is not at all necessary. Some are even reluctant to participate in raising children.

This becomes one of the reasons why the weaker sex submits an application for divorce to the registry office.

Read also:   Marriage of minors: entry and dissolution of marriage

Psychologists today identify another reason for the dissolution of marriages - a frivolous attitude towards the family union. Today's youth believe that if it doesn't work out, you can always get a divorce, because there is no tragedy in this. The breakdown of a family is perceived by many as something ordinary.

Those who were forced into marriage, for example, due to pregnancy, often get divorced.

Most often, families that do not have common children break up. In recent years, 56.7% of divorced couples were childless. Marriages with at least one child are less likely to fail.

As statistics show, such couples make up about 31.2% of the total number. The divorce rate for couples with two children is even lower - 12%.

Dear readers! Our articles talk about typical ways to resolve legal issues, but each case is unique.

How many years does it take on average for spouses to decide to divorce?

The most critical age for a family is 5–9 years of living together. It is during this period that the largest number of marriages break up - 25.8%.

Interestingly, half a century ago the situation was identical: 5-9 years - that’s how long it took most families to reach a divorce. True, then the percentage was even higher - 31.3.

The next period is from 10 to 19 years. In recent years, about 19% of married couples divorce at this “age”.

Young families were no exception. Marriages lasting only 1-2 years break up no less often than 20-year ones. Statistics show that in the last few years the number of divorces at this stage of family life is slightly more than 19%.

Newlyweds are the least likely to get divorced. Only 4.7% of newlyweds divorce in the first year of married life.

By the way, the 20-year mark does not guarantee that the family will not break up. Even at this time, the divorce rate is quite high - 13.2%.

As for age indicators, most often people between 18 and 35 years old decide to separate. And the most vulnerable age is considered to be between 25 and 30.

The most durable marriages are those that are concluded before the age of 30, since it is at a young age that the “grinding in” period is quite simple. At this time, it is also much easier to say goodbye to old habits, adapt to your partner and become a strong family.

Statistics show that in Russia there is now a real crisis in the institution of marriage. The increase in divorce rates has been a dominant trend over the past few years.

Video on the topic

Why do people get divorced: statistics and overview of the causes of divorce in Russia

Unfortunately, family relationships do not always last a lifetime, even if at the time of the wedding it seemed to the newlyweds that nothing would ever separate them. Understanding why people get divorced is quite difficult, because in each situation there can be either one obvious factor or several indirect ones that together lead to separation.

The main reasons for divorces in Russia

According to statistics, the most common causes of divorce in Russia are:

  1. Difficult living conditions. This is especially true for couples who decide to live with their parents, who interfere in the relationship in one way or another, which does not have the best effect on them.
  2. Marriage due to pregnancy or short term relationship. In the first case, young people are often not mentally prepared for life together and do not have sufficient affection for each other. In the second, we can say that the girl and the guy did not have time to fully get to know each other, and in everyday life they encountered problems that destroyed their relationship.
  3. Treason. Both the male and female parts of a married couple are guilty of this.
  4. Alcoholism. When a husband or wife abuses alcohol, and the other cannot do anything about it, then things move towards divorce.
  5. Lack of finances. In this situation, the initiators of the breakup are often wives who are not ready to tolerate their husband’s lack of work or low income, insufficient to provide for their family and children.

Divorce statistics in Russia in recent years

If you believe divorce statistics, more than half of registered marriages eventually end in breakup.

More often this happens to couples who have lived together for about 5-9 years. But almost 20% of families that had been together for 10-20 years also ended up breaking up. Couples who have been in a relationship for 1-2 years often get divorced.

Only 4.7% of cases were recorded when families came to a divorce earlier than after a year of marriage. Statistics also say that with an increase in the number of children a couple has, the likelihood of divorce decreases.

Who's at risk

The most risky ones from the point of view of possible divorce are:

  1. Too young or, conversely, too old couple. In the first case, not yet formed personalities may eventually understand that their characters do not suit each other, they have different views on life. The same can happen to older newlyweds; they are used to living each in their own way, and the likelihood of their worldview being similar is quite small.
  2. The presence of a child with a difficult character in the family. The constant stress experienced by the mother because of the heavy baby cannot but affect her husband. He, in turn, may not take part in working on the child at all, which will ultimately become the basis for leaving the family.
  3. The bride's uncertainty about the future union even before entering into it. According to statistics, if a future wife doubts her future husband at a wedding, such families have a 2 times greater risk of separation compared to others, all other things being equal.
  4. The presence of two or more female children in the family. This factor is explained by the fact that the husband often wants to raise his son, but he does not have such an opportunity.
  5. One of the spouses has divorced parents. In this case, he unconsciously focuses on the experience gained in childhood, and believes that any conflict can only be resolved by terminating the relationship.
  6. Lack of money or different views of spouses on managing finances. The lack of funds factor is aggravated by the spouse’s reluctance to go to work or the spouse’s reluctance to find other or additional ways to earn money. In the second case, one may be a devotee of saving, and the other may be accustomed to living one day at a time, spending everything at once, and then surviving as best he can.
  7. Disagreements in lifestyle. For example, one spouse prefers fast food, smoking and alcohol, while the other actively fights for a healthy lifestyle.
  8. The wife's salary is higher than that of the husband. This factor suppresses the male ego; the woman becomes dominant in the couple, which can also be aggravated by humiliation on her part. The wife begins to see this as a reason to divorce her husband.

Possible consequences

Divorce is most difficult for children, especially if parents decide to take such a step when the children’s psyche is not yet formed, and they are used to being surrounded by both mom and dad. Then they are not able to calmly cope with their separation.

Women often take a breakup easier, because they are naturally more patient and ready to face difficulties.

It is the wives who leave with the children, leaving their alcoholic husband in the old apartment, or who throw him out the door, finding him in the marital bed with his mistress.

Despite the fear of being alone, the woman knows that she can cope; she has maternal instincts that will help in the struggle for family happiness. In most cases, in problematic families, it is the wives who decide when to divorce their husbands.

Divorce deals a serious blow to men’s pride; it is a lot of stress for them, and more often than not they try to preserve the relationship by any means necessary. This is especially true in cases where separation is proposed by a woman. As a result of divorce, a man endures stress no easier than a child, because it disrupts his usual rhythms of life and destroys his well-established way of life.

Many men abandon their former family to the mercy of fate and are not going to help her in any way, and then all material and educational issues are shifted to the woman. This sometimes happens in reverse order; there are also single fathers whose wife has left and abandoned their children.

One way or another, every divorced couple will have to face some legal issues. They can only be resolved through legislation.

Such issues related to claims include:

  • alimony;
  • division of housing and other jointly acquired property;
  • who will the child stay with?
  • Will it be possible to visit the child?

Life after divorce: advice from a psychologist

Most people find it difficult to cope with the breakup of relationships and the end of family life; in this case, it is better to seek help from a psychologist.

But if you don’t have the strength and confidence to go to the clinic, you can at least take the advice of experts:

  1. First of all, you should realize what has already happened and what cannot be avoided. Having gone through 5 stages (shock, rage, bargaining, awareness, acceptance), a person will accept divorce as a fact, and this will already be a step towards exiting the crisis.
  2. You must be prepared that it will be most difficult in the first 2-3 months after the divorce. During this period, you can make a lot of mistakes and do a lot of bad things based on emotions. Therefore, psychologists recommend giving yourself a “time out” for at least this period, not making any serious decisions and not radically changing anything in your life. The psyche should return to a more or less stable state.
  3. Under no circumstances should you turn your children against your spouse. A big conflict will be created in the child’s soul, because he will want to please both the mother and the father, which will not end in a positive outcome.
  4. You can’t suffer and cry around the clock, it won’t lead to anything good. You can give yourself a couple of hours a week to do this, and for the rest try to live your normal life - work, meet with friends and family, relax, take care of children, etc. This method will teach a person to manage his own emotions, which will later help him in life. any difficult situations.
  5. When the psyche suffers, the whole body suffers, because they are a single organism. Don’t forget about health: you need to eat right, engage in physical activity, walk, and follow a daily routine.
  6. Focus on what is happening at a given moment in time. There is no point in remembering what happened before, or making plans for the future. You should live in the present and enjoy what life gives you now.
  7. A huge mistake that most people make is denying outside help. It is not necessary to contact specialists. Breaking up doesn't mean being alone. A person is always surrounded by family and friends, who will not refuse to be there in difficult situations. And we’re not just talking about moral support; an unsettled divorced person may need help with a variety of household chores: buying groceries, preparing lunch, picking up the children from kindergarten, helping with cleaning the house.
  8. You can’t be selfish and think that the divorce was difficult only for you. Children always have a hard time with such an event; they need to be explained why it happened and that they are not to blame for what happened.

In the next video, a psychologist talks about the reasons for divorce and how to save a family.

Read also:   Postpartum payments: for the first child, for the second and third

Source: https://easy-divorce.legal/razvody/osnovnye-prichiny.html

Why people get divorced: main and hidden reasons for divorce

Good afternoon, dear readers! I don’t know what prompted you to become interested in the topic of divorce, I hope it’s just idle curiosity. I will be happy to satisfy him and tell you why people get divorced. From this article you will learn not only the main official reasons for divorce in Russia, but also psychological and social factors that few people talk about.

According to statistics, currently 58% of all marriages in Russia end in divorce. Just think about it - every second couple leaving the registry office today to the cries of “bitter!” will return there a few years later to file for divorce. Half of them will already have children at that time, doomed to live in a single-parent family or get used to a new stepparent.

The state is trying its best to solve this problem, offering various ways to artificially keep people married.

Both sticks are used - increasing the state duty for divorce, and carrots - various incentives and benefits for long-term unions.

The effectiveness of these methods is zero, since they fight the effect without trying to eliminate the cause. Let's figure out together why the number of divorces is increasing every year.

The main reasons for divorce according to statistics

In the “Reason” column in the application for divorce, people most often indicate the following.

Addiction of one of the spouses to alcohol and drugs

According to statistics, this is the most common cause of divorce, destroying about 30% of all families. Constant stress, high workload, and the frantic pace of life force people to seek solace at the bottom of the bottle.

Men are more susceptible to alcoholism, because responsibility for the family most often lies with them.

For many, this burden turns out to be unbearable, especially if there is no support from the spouse, but only constant reproaches and demands.

Domestic violence

Violence in marriage is not uncommon today, and this is exactly the case when you need to leave immediately. It's better to be divorced but alive than to be dead with a ring on your finger. And I am not exaggerating - many of those who expected their spouse to improve suffered this terrible fate.

Naturally, the role of the rapist is the one who is stronger. In 99% of cases it is a man. Those who believe that only some scumbags and marginal individuals resort to assault are wrong.

Violence in families occurs when irritation, anger and resentment, without finding a way out, reach a critical level and put a person into a state of passion.

He turns into a beast, unable to control his rage.

Having returned to consciousness after what happened, the man is overcome with a feeling of guilt, he cannot understand how he did such a thing, and begins to beg for forgiveness in all possible ways. If the wife decides to forgive him, they both fall into a trap from which it will be very difficult to get out later.

The woman will feel like a victim and expect compensation from her husband for his aggression. The man will be tormented by feelings of guilt and circle around his wife like her faithful page. And the factors that initially caused irritation and anger will not go away; on the contrary, new ones will be added to them. The next outbreak of passion will not be long in coming. A woman needs to know about this in order to break this vicious circle.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, do not tolerate it! Go live with your parents or girlfriend and prepare for a divorce. To figure out what to do, read our article “How to divorce your husband.”

Adultery

Dissatisfaction with sex life in marriage pushes people to look for relationships on the side. Most people consider cheating to be a betrayal, but not every betrayal leads to divorce.

Due to certain gender characteristics, male and female infidelity are perceived differently by spouses. Men cheat more often, but it is easier to forgive a woman for her husband’s betrayal than for a wife’s betrayal of a man.

In addition, circumstances play an important role: with whom the spouse cheated, whether it was an unfortunate accident or a long-term vicious relationship, what kind of relationship he had with his lover or mistress.

Financial difficulties

Very often the love boat crashes in everyday life, especially among people who love to build castles in the air and soar in the clouds.

Only men and women have different views on the problem, one might even say opposite.

A woman, dissatisfied with the financial situation of her family, is inclined to place all responsibility on the man - he earns little, he won’t take me to the Maldives, I’ll go to someone else and I’ll live like a queen.

A man often perceives family life as an obstacle to his career growth. “Now, if I didn’t have to support all this horde and waste my time on them, I would have risen to the rank of boss a long time ago,” this is how the dissatisfied husband roughly thinks.

Such fantasies have little relation to reality, but people understand this too late.

Living with relatives under one roof

The housing problem has always been acute for residents of big cities; Bulgakov wrote about this in “The Master and Margarita.” Unable to move into separate housing, young couples usually live in a house with the parents of one of the spouses. Very rarely does such cohabitation benefit the relationship. In especially severe cases, divorce occurs.

Long business trips for husband or wife

The occupation of many people involves constant travel and long stays away from home. These are athletes, military personnel, sailors, pilots, truck drivers, and artists. People who get married usually have little idea of ​​what awaits them.

Feelings of loneliness, worries about your spouse and jealousy can kill even the strongest love. Especially if your own life is boring and monotonous, and your spouse is the only light in the window.

Inability to have children

Infertility in married couples is not uncommon today; about 6% of marriages break up for this reason. A spouse whose fertility is fine may find it difficult to come to terms with the impossibility of having natural children, and he leaves. Most often this is a man; a woman in this situation can resort to artificial insemination.

Irreconcilable contradictions in views on life

When getting married, many people do not bother to discuss important life-changing issues among themselves: where they will live, how they will share responsibilities and manage the family budget, whether they will have children and how soon.

As a result, very often views diverge, and none of the spouses wants to compromise.

Everyone tries to bend the other, scandals and showdowns begin, and in the end people not only get divorced, but turn into their worst enemies.

Intercultural and interfaith marriages are at risk. The traditions and customs of different peoples are very different, and this, naturally, leaves an imprint on family life. I know couples who separated after 10 years of marriage, unable to agree on what name to name their child. This could be funny if it weren't so sad.

We have found out the main reasons that lie on the surface and are visible to the naked eye. But if you dig deeper, it very often turns out that they are only a consequence of the psychological and personal problems of two people who happen to be nearby.

People are not always able to reflect on these internal problems and draw the right conclusions. If, after a divorce, a person blames his ex-spouse for all the sins, but does not see a drop of guilt behind himself, with a high degree of probability we can say that his next relationship will end in failure. Therefore, psychologists advise always maintaining mental hygiene and always working on yourself.

Psychological aspects of divorce

The cornerstone of all human problems, including those related to the inability to build family relationships, is the psychological immaturity of the individual. In other words – infantilism. The phenomenon is widespread and very difficult to eradicate in our time due to blurred values ​​and lack of moral guidelines.

It manifests itself in the reluctance and inability to take responsibility, the refusal to rely on oneself, and the search for external sources of emotional and material comfort.

It is not surprising that the initiators of divorce are more often women - gender stereotypes allow them to remain weak and dependent almost into old age, but such indulgences, as a rule, have to be paid dearly. The faster a person grows up, the more successful and happier his life will be.

One of the consequences of personal immaturity is egocentrism. It eats away at a marriage like rust - gradually but inevitably.

A family union of two egocentrics is doomed to a quick divorce and rarely lasts longer than three years. If in a couple only one spouse suffers from egocentrism, the other can carry everything on himself for quite a long time.

But sooner or later the cup of patience is overflowing, and he leaves, leaving the second one in bewilderment and confusion.

This topic is covered well by a male psychologist in the video.

On opposite sides of the barricades: divorce from the point of view of a man and a woman

We have already found out that women are more likely to initiate divorce. Let's look at some more gender-specific features of divorce.

Well, firstly, it’s worth saying that divorce is much less beneficial for a man than for a woman, especially in a marriage with children. Children in 80% of cases remain with their mother, and the father, often unable to fully communicate with them, must bear the burden of their material maintenance. You need to know this and always keep it in mind.

Therefore, prudent men try to save the marriage until the end, or at least separate without scandal.

In addition to the above, husbands identify the following motives and grounds for divorcing their wives:

  • dissatisfaction with sex life;
  • interference of the wife's parents in the family affairs of the young;
  • demandingness and constant dissatisfaction of the wife;
  • woman's wild lifestyle.

Wives understand that it is time to divorce their husbands based on the following signs:

  • lack of a sense of security and reliable rear;
  • too heavy a load at home;
  • lack of attention from the husband;
  • a man’s bad relationship with his wife’s children from a previous marriage.

At-risk groups

Psychologists identify several factors that increase the likelihood of divorce. The first of them is age. The optimal period for starting a family is considered to be from 23 to 30 years. The person has already completed his studies, separated from his parents and entered into an independent adult life.

Too early marriages, as a rule, are concluded solely on emotions without taking into account common sense and prospects for the future. Young people have an idealized and romanticized idea of ​​marriage.

They project beautiful stories from films and books onto their lives, but in them, as a rule, they are silent about the mortgage, socks scattered around the apartment, division of family responsibilities and other “delights” of family life.

After thirty, an individual becomes completely self-sufficient, acquires social status and financial opportunities, and it becomes difficult for him to fit another person into his well-established and comfortable life.

The second factor contributing to the breakdown of a family is the excessive passion of one of the spouses for their career. Workaholism is becoming increasingly widespread today. But this is also an addiction, like gambling addiction, shopaholism and compulsive overeating - sooner or later it leads to the destruction of personality.

The only difference is that workaholism has recently become a socially acceptable type of addiction, in some cases even encouraged. A man who works around the clock seems like a good option for starting a family, in contrast to a slacker who disappears around the clock in the virtual worlds of computer games.

When harsh reality reveals itself in all its glory, it is usually too late. The passport is already stamped and the rings are on.

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Marriages of convenience also very often end in divorce. Material wealth cannot in any way compensate for the emotional component of a relationship. In addition, as a rule, these are unequal marriages. Needless to say, age, culture, and financial gaps have a negative impact on family life.

Social reasons and factors provoking divorces

Social trends and processes cannot but leave their mark on the institution of the family. And although this is not a direct influence, but an indirect one, I could not ignore it. Let's figure out what factors can provoke such a huge number of divorces.

The motto of modern youth is to live one day at a time and don’t worry. Everything that does not fit into this doctrine - namely, any responsibility, hard work, moral and ethical principles - is considered harmful and destructive. We see how the idle and selfish lifestyle is idealized in films, modern literature and show business.

Naturally, there is no place for children in such a picture of the world. And childless marriages break up much more often - this is a fact confirmed by statistics. The total number of divorces is 65%.

  • Exaggeration of the role of sex in people's lives

Sexual stimuli today lie in wait for us everywhere - on the street, on TV, on the radio, on the Internet; the only place you can hide from them is in a kindergarten or church. Particularly “progressive” sections of society constantly strive for sexual liberation, although there is no room for liberation.

Against the backdrop of such aggressive brainwashing, married people begin to feel somewhat damaged and deprived, because marriage imposes certain restrictions on male and female libido. They begin to look with envy at their single friends and come to the conclusion that they did not have time to have fun. And having escaped to the long-awaited freedom, as a rule, they bitterly regret the broken family.

First of all, of course, women's. The deification of girlish beauty has always taken place, but today it has acquired completely grotesque forms. It’s a paradox, but it is the fair sex themselves who suffer from this state of affairs first of all.

A woman loses her external attractiveness before a man - the birth of children leaves its mark, sad as it may be. Closer to 40, she can no longer compete with young girls for the attention of the opposite sex, while the target audience of men, on the contrary, is expanding. Having reached his fifth decade, he can be a desirable gentleman for both a twenty-year-old and a fifty-year-old lady.

When young photoshopped beauties with perfect bodies look at him from Instagram pages, he begins to critically evaluate his wife. All her services to him and the years spent together fade into the background. It is at this age that men often leave their wives and demand a divorce.

Conclusion

Divorce is a painful event for everyone involved, and you should try your best to avoid it. Unfortunately, this is not always possible, and new gravestones appear at the cemetery of dead families.

On this sad note, I conclude my story and wish you never to join the sad divorce statistics. Come visit us again, we have many more articles and on much more fun topics!

Reasons for divorce in Russia: why there are more of them, what statistics show

The statistics on the number of divorces in Russia are disappointing. Every year, the institution of marriage becomes increasingly devalued. Men and women quickly converge and easily separate when the first difficulties arise.

Modern people value personal comfort above the value of family, do not agree to compromises, prove to each other who is more important, and do not strive to avoid conflicts.

The number of marriages is falling, and the divorce rate is steadily increasing.

Statistical patterns of divorce in Russia

Russia is one of the world leaders in the number of divorces (more details in the article: why are there so many divorces in Russia?). According to statistics, in 2017 there were 583 divorces per 1,000 weddings. This figure is staggering. Official Rosstat statistics for the last 5 years can be seen in the table:

Year Number of marriages Number of divorces
2013 1225501 667971
2014 1225985 693730
2015 1161068 611646
2016 985834 608330
2017 1049725 611428

More than 50% of couples get divorced every year. The number of marriages is not growing. Nowadays, civil marriages are in fashion - unions of people living together, running a household, raising common children, but not in a hurry to legalize the relationship in the registry office.

Statistics on life expectancy in marriage states:

  • the average duration of marriages in Russia is less than 4 years;
  • within 1-4 years of married life, 40% of couples divorce, of which 3.5% - in the first year after marriage;
  • for 5-9 years - 28%;
  • for 10-19 years - 22%;
  • Spouses who have lived together for almost half their lives also get divorced; 13% of couples break up after 20 or more years of living together.

Statistics of regions of the Russian Federation:

  • The lowest percentage of disintegrating families is in the Chechen Republic, Dagestan, and Ingushetia. The majority of the population of these regions preaches Islam, which has an extremely negative attitude towards divorce. Muslims condemn divorce and honor family traditions.
  • The largest number of divorces was recorded in the Central Federal District.
  • The leader in the number of divorces per capita is the Far Eastern Federal District.

Having common children does not save the social unit. Often the birth of a child is a catalyst for breaking family ties. A joyful event aggravates financial issues and adds nervousness from lack of sleep and new problems. According to statistics, every second divorce occurs soon after the birth of the first child.

What reasons lead to the breakdown of marriages in our country?

Official data

In a divorce petition, the general phrase that appears most often is: “they don’t get along,” hiding something that is embarrassing to admit. What are the real reasons?

According to social surveys of the population, significant circumstances for divorce in modern families are:

  • alcoholism or drug addiction is a fundamental circumstance for 40% of Russians;
  • low standard of living, financial problems, lack of home - an impetus for 23% of respondents;
  • 15% of respondents believe that living with relatives and their interference in the family life of young people leads to divorce;
  • the impossibility or unwillingness of one of the spouses to have children pushes a couple to break up, according to 8% of survey participants;
  • 6% consider living in different cities due to shift work as a significant reason;
  • the presence of one of the spouses in prison is a significant reason for 2% of the population;
  • 1% of respondents are ready to get a divorce if the other half is diagnosed with an incurable disease.

Constant quarrels and conflicts, aggression, and sometimes family violence are one of the consequences of these reasons. The second consequence is adultery. Men and women have different psychology of the concept of betrayal leading to divorce.

It is difficult for a woman to survive both the news that her husband has cheated on her physically and moral infidelity when a man becomes emotionally attached to another woman. A man believes that his wife has cheated if she actually has physical intimacy with another partner.

These factors are a reason to go to the registry office and file for divorce.

What reason is indicated by the spouses in the application? According to statistics, these are:

  • betrayal - 25%;
  • dissatisfaction with intimate life - 15%;
  • incompatible life goals and interests - 13%;
  • alcohol dependence - 7%.

Special circumstances

A hasty decision to get married leads to divorce. 40% of broken couples think so.

When the intention to get married is not properly thought through, is accepted after a short period of acquaintance on emotions, due to the news of pregnancy or under pressure from relatives, family relationships become strained and become heated to the limit.

Unpreparedness for living together results in rudeness, mutual humiliation of spouses, and reluctance to help each other. The couple decides to divorce. Marriages of even old childhood friends can become unsuccessful if their romantic relationship began and led to a wedding quickly.

Currently, the trend of early marriages is decreasing. Early marriages are considered to be marriages entered into before the partners reach the age of 18. Now the main age of those getting married is 25-30 years for men and 20-25 years for women. However, the number of divorces is not decreasing, but on the contrary, increasing. This partially refutes the stereotype that, according to statistics, early marriages end the fastest.

INTERESTING: what is the average age of marriage in Russia?

Moreover, statistics prove the opposite: marriages where newlyweds are less than 30 years old are more durable than marriages of mature people who legitimize relationships over the age of 30.

Psychologists explain this for psychological reasons: at the age of 30, a person has already developed as a person, has his own habits, character, and way of life. Changing everything to suit the life of a partner is beyond the power of many.

Young people are more flexible and adapt more easily to new conditions.

Mixed marriages are popular in our country. Conflicts between husbands and wives of different nationalities are common due to differences in mentality, differences in views on raising children, and non-acceptance of one of the spouses by relatives. Ultimately, they lead to the breakdown of a mixed marriage.

To save a marriage, the efforts of both spouses are required. It doesn’t matter whether the marriage is mixed or same-ethnic, early or late, civil or official: respect, the desire to hear your partner, the ability to negotiate will help preserve it.

Statistics on the behavior of men and women after divorce

Do men and women experience divorce the same way? How many of them subsequently find personal happiness?

For women, the acute post-divorce period lasts about a year. Often a woman is completely immersed in work and rapidly builds a career. The majority of women concentrate on children; caring for them helps them survive the most difficult times and cope with the psychological consequences of a breakup.

For men, if the wife filed for divorce, the period of stress is a little longer; for some, the past does not let go for 2 years. A man files for divorce on his own only in one case: he has someone to go to, he has had love on his side for a long time.

In this case, of course, the man is completely stress-free. Divorced men have less regular relationships with children. The father usually takes the children for the weekend.

After some time, he is completely absorbed by new relationships, interest in children may fade away, and the only paternal responsibility remains only the timely payment of alimony.

INTERESTING: how should a wife behave if her husband filed for divorce?

Statistics from the registry office show that more than half of divorced people enter into a second marriage a few years after the divorce. This usually happens after 3-4 years.

Among divorced men, 68% manage to remarry. Divorced women with children are in no hurry to enter into official relationships; 27% of them remarry.

What is the situation with divorces in other countries?

The word “divorce” is often heard in English, French and other languages ​​of the world. People all over the planet see nothing wrong with him.

One of the first places in the number of divorced people is occupied by Belgium, where out of 100 marriages, 70, that is, 70%, break up. The next countries in terms of divorce rates are Portugal, the Czech Republic, Hungary and Spain, where 65-67% of families separate. In the US, the number of divorced couples is approaching 50%.

The situation is a little better in Norwegian, German, Canadian and Australian homes, the number of divorces in them is about 40%. According to statistical studies, the strongest marriages are in Chile, where divorce statistics do not exceed 3%. A low number of divorces is observed in Asian countries, where family values ​​are taught from childhood.

Governments in many countries are taking measures to protect marriage. So far they have been unsuccessful.

 

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